Anger is a normal and often healthy emotion in response to problems or threats. When out of control though, anger becomes harmful, and can cause issues in our relationships and affect our well-being. But what does Islam say about anger?
Interestingly, the Almighty lists control of one’s anger as one of the attributes of His righteous servants: “those who donate in prosperity and adversity, control their anger, and pardon others. And Allah loves the righteous.” (Qur’an 3:134)
Control of our anger is also consistently emphasized in Prophetic narrations. Abu Hurayrah (rA) narrated that “a man said to the Prophet ﷺ, ‘Advise me.’ He said, ‘Do not get angry.’ He repeated his question several times and he said ‘Do not get angry.’” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 6166)
Given that anger is a natural and unavoidable part of human nature, the command here should not be misunderstood as meaning that we must eliminate anger entirely. Rather, our Prophet is commanding us to not let our anger overcome us when it does arise. As such, here we will provide five actionable tips from the Prophetic tradition, along with a du’a, that can help with anger management and guide us all towards righteousness, inshAllah.
What is righteous anger?
First it should be noted that not all anger is equal. Rather, some anger can be considered righteous anger: anger at seeing injustice and the laws of Allah violated. This is why the Qur’an describes the Prophet Moses as becoming angry when he saw his people worshiping the golden calf:“When Moses returned to his people, furious and sorrowful, he said, ‘What an evil thing you committed in my absence!’” (Qur’an 7:150)
However the Qur’an (7:154) also describes Moses as only acting, calling his people back to the worship of Allah, after his anger had subsided. This suggests that even with righteous anger, we should only act after our anger has cooled to an extent. Likewise, while any human with a healthy heart should feel anger upon seeing the injustice inflicted upon our Palestinian brothers and sisters, here too we must channel our anger to act strategically.
The Mother of the Believers, Ayesha (rA) further describes Allah’s Messenger ﷺ as never taking “revenge (against anybody) for his own sake but (he did) only when Allah’s rules were violated in which case he would take revenge for Allah’s sake.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, no. 3560)
It is worth noting that this praise of the Prophet’s conduct came from his wife. For many of us, it is unfortunately in marital disputes where we most often display anger, in arguments we later regret and which seem silly in retrospect. How then can we control that type of anger that leads to sins and regret? We lay out five practical tips from the Prophetic tradition that can make anger management easier.
Tip 1: Seek refuge with Allah from Satan
The Prophet ﷺ said, “If a man gets angry and says, ‘I seek refuge with Allah,’ his anger will go away.” (Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 695)
This tip is also reflected in another narration: “Two men reviled each other in the presence of the Prophet ﷺ. Then the eyes of one of them became red and his jugular veins swelled. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said ‘I know a phrase [which] if this [man] said [it], it would get rid of (the anger) he finds: I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil…’” (Sunan Abi Dawud, no. 4781)
These narrations are also in line with the verse, “If you are tempted by Satan, then seek refuge with Allah. Surely He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.” (Qur’an 7:200). This clearly indicates that anger is indeed a form of temptation from Satan; keeping that in mind alone can help some with their anger.
The first tip then, repeated in a Qur’anic verse and in more than one Prophetic narration, is to say:
أعوذُ باللهِ مِنَ الشيطانِ الرجيم
A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim
I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan.
Tip 2: Know when to walk away
The Prophet ﷺ said, “If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down so his anger will go away; if it does not, then let him lie down.” (Sahih Ibn Hibban, no. 5688)
That is, when angry, change your physical state. If you are standing, sit down. If you are already sitting down, lie down. This helps reduce physical tension and provides a sudden awareness of the body and your breathing patterns.
If that still does not work, or you are already lying down, walk away from the person or situation that is making you angry. The physical distance can help you to cool off and gain a clearer perspective.
Tip 3: Keep silent
The Prophet ﷺ said, “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.” (Musnad Ahmad, no. 2137)
How many of us have said things in anger that we later regretted and had to apologize for? While feelings of anger are often inevitable, we can minimize their negative consequences by allowing our emotions to settle before speaking. Taking this pause helps prevent hasty remarks and their potential fallout.
Tip No. 4: Make wudu
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Verily, anger comes from Satan, and Satan was created from fire. Fire is extinguished with water, so if you become angry, perform ablution with water.” (Sunan Abi Dawud, no. 4784)
This hadith suggests that performing wudu (ablution) can help us cool down both physically and spiritually. An additional benefit is that we not only calm our emotions but also realign our focus from our immediate frustrations to the broader perspective of the afterlife, our ultimate goal as believers.
Tip No. 5: Remember the reward for controlling anger
Abu Darda (rA) narrated, “I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, tell me about a deed that will admit me into Paradise. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Do not be angry and you will enter Paradise.’” (al-Mu’jam al-Awsat lil-Tabarani, no. 2353)
There are also narrations stating that managing your anger can protect you from punishment. Ibn Umar (rA) reported that “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘Whoever restrains his tongue, Allah Almighty will cover his faults. Whoever controls his anger, Allah Almighty will protect him from His punishment. Whoever apologizes to Allah Almighty, He will accept his apology.’” (Ibn Abī Dunyā, no. 21)
That is, our ability to control our anger in this life has profound significance for our next life. Making managing our anger a constant habit could be the reason that Allah averts punishment from us, or decides to admit us to Paradise.
A du’a to relieve anger
In addition to the above tips, whenever you feel yourself on the verge of letting anger get the best of you, say the following supplication.
Umm Salamah (rA) narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, will you not teach me a supplication with which I can pray for myself?” The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Say:
اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِي ذَنْبِي، وَأَذْهِبْ غَيْظَ قَلْبِي، وَأَعِذْنِي مِنْ مُضِلاتِ الْفِتَنِ مَا أَحْيَيْتَنَا .
Allahumma-ghfir li dhanbii, wa adhhib ghayza qalbi, wa a’ithnii min mudillatil-fitn ma ahyaytana.
O Allah, the Lord of Muhammad ﷺ, forgive my sins, remove the anger from my heart and protect me from the trials of misguidance as you long as you allow us to live.’” (Musnad Ahmad, no. 26576)
Conclusion
If you, like many others, struggle to control your anger, know that you are not alone. Anger management requires a great deal of self-control. It is precisely because of the difficulty of controlling anger that “the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘Who do you consider to be a fighter among you?’ We said, ‘One who men cannot wrestle down.’ The Prophet said, ‘It is not so. Rather, it is one who controls himself when angry.’” (Sahih Muslim, no. 2608)
By applying the tips provided here, one can gradually make anger management into a habit. As anger management becomes a habit, it will become easier, and over time, you may find yourself consistently remaining calm and composed in the face of anger.
